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WHAT'S THE DIRTIEST WORD
IN THE WORLD???
A friendly comment*
What's the Word that most inspires
disgust and horror and shame...?
The slipperiest and the sleaziest...
The slimiest and the clammiest...
The absolute coarsest and filthiest...
Not just here and now,
But in all languages and in
all cultures...?
And throughout all of history...?
There really is such a word.
It truly does exist.
And this couldn't be
easier to prove!
Some people will try
to tell you it's the
"L" word...
But forget about all that...
THE REAL WORD...
as you're about to see...
the one that already
has you squirming in denial,
is a thousand times filthier...
It's SUCH a disgusting word
that even trying to spell it out
is pretty scary...
But let's try anyway...
C - O - N - S - E - R - V - A - T - I - V - E
And as dirty and disgusting
as this word truly is...
let's all be a little bit brave
and maybe even try saying it...
. . .CONSERVATIVE. . .
Compared to conservatives,
the worst liberals
have ever done
the least bit dirty
is run up a few deficits
or maybe try out
a few new ideas
that didn't totally work...
As opposed to
the hundreds of new ideas
they tried out
that DID WORK...
But conservatives have won
every dirtiness contest
over the last two thousand years...
And
counting...
This couldm't be
easier to prove,
because what conservatives do
is so disgustingly vile,
that it even goes back
a lot further,
further even
than recorded history...
Conservatives can't help
being this way,
it's part of their upbringing,
it's the way they've always lived...
You'll soon see
all the proof
you could possibly need...
Here are just a few
of their dirty tricks
and their dirty secrets
through all the ages...
Let's just start
at the very beginning...
All the way back,
when people still lived in caves...
They'd been living there
for a very long time...
when finally it happened:
just a few cavemen
here and there
said hey...
here's an idea:
let's try out life on the outside,
let's try leaving the caves...
Just guess what happened...?
Right away
conservatives said
NO!
...as they always do...
They wanted
to stay there
in the caves
forever...
Life is nothing but the caves,
they said,
people belong in the caves,
we all must remain in the caves
and never leave...
Later on,
when we finally learned
to live outside the caves
and kept ourselves alive
as hunter-gatherers,
living together
in small groups...
once again, just a few
said hey...
here's an idea:
let's try planting crops...
and maybe just be farmers
part of the year...
Right away
conservatives said
NO!
...as they always do...
They wanted
to keep hunting and gathering
forever...
No way, said conservatives.
Hunting and gathering is all
there is...
we've got to hunt and gather forever...
Hunt and gather...
gather and hunt...
Came the time when farmers
had another idea:
they said hey,
let's start moving
into towns and cities...
Right away
conservatives said
NO!
...as they always do...
"You can't live
in towns and cities...
It's against god's will!"
conservatives cried,
"we all have to stay on
the farm..."
"Towns and cities
will lead us all
into sin and damnation..."
Easy to prove...
Just listen to them...
some of them still say
the same thing...
even today...
Why do conservatives
keep doing this...???
Because that's the way they are,
they just can't help themselves...
that's what being a conservative
is all about...
Conserving what THEY think is normal,
and totally destroying anything else...
Just think about it a while,
and you'll soon see,
this is how they really are...
Just consider one by one
all the things conservatives
have been respsonsible for
through all of history...
And here we go...
(wow, we've finally made it
out of pre-history)
& onward into history...!
Here's just some of the things
conservatives have been
utterly responsible for
over the past three millennia...
The decline of Greek skepticism,
the decline of science
and the onset
of the Dark Ages...
The Sack of Constantinople,
the Albigensian Crusade,
the Spanish Inquisition...
The Counter-Reformation,
the campaign against Copernicus
and Galileo and Giordano Bruno...
The championship of slavery
throughout the entire world...
from ancient times on down...
The growth of the British Empire,
totally based on the soundest
of conservative principles:
outright piracy,
the slave trade,
and the opium trade...
The French Revolution,
triggered by conservatives,
who were totally oblivious
to legitimate social needs...
The American Civil War
(including some blood ancestors
of the Southerners
STILL calling the shots
in Washington)...
The massacre of Native Americans
over the last three centuries...
Violent and still active
opposition to organized labor...
Primitive educational standards
for half the nation...
Poor or poisoned food supplies
wherever in the world
conservatives can make a profit...
Tzarist Russia, Communist Russia...
(yes, the communists
were the most conservative
of conservatives, however
their theory may read)...
Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany,
McCarthyist &
near-fascist America,
Nixon's neo-fascism,
and finally Bush's as well...
Ongoing and still uncontrolled
rape of the environment...
Abominable health care
for half the nation...
worse than abominable
for half the world...
Bigotry, prejudice, and violence
against Blacks, Latinos,
and any new ethnic group
arriving in the US...
Victimization of women,
and their ongoing murderous
campaign against abortion...
Partial or total opposition
to straight sex
kinky sex
gay sex
premarital sex
postmarital sex
sex in any and all of its forms...
(...except where conservative
lawmakers are involved...)
Unceasing and unthinking war
against the arts
and freedom of expression,
even when they are
relatively innocent...
And their near total inability
to admit
when their policies have failed,
even when it is obvious
that they have done so...
Yes, this is who
conservatives truly are...
Every single step
along the road of progress
all the way, at every point,
conservatives have dug
in their heels and done
their utmost
to destroy anyone who dared
to take the slightest step further...
AND IT'S NO DIFFERENT TODAY...
Because that's what
being conservative
is all about...
These are not political advocates
or political theorists...
they are political pornographers...
which makes them far worse
than real pornographers...
They cast banana peels
and other even sloppier substances
under the feet
of anyone who dares
to move forward,
they're social Luddites
who gladly hurl wrenches
into the works and projects
of progress.
They just can't help themselves,
they simply can't help
making politics dirty,
disgusting, slippery, sleazy,
slimy, clammy,
coarse, and shameful...
Being "conservative"
isn't a political position
at all,
It's nothing more or less
than an obscenity.
And there's no real
conservative "philosophy"...
just endless greed,
endless lying,
endless hypocrisy...
AND
ENDLESS JUST SAYING
NO!
Just remember,
even a long word,
even a four-syllable word,
can be a four-letter word...
If this isn't dirty,
If this isn't slimy,
If this isn't vile,
THEN WHAT IS???
Because that's who
conservatives truly are....
Are we really supposed
to respect the opinions
of these people...?
Are we really expected
to regard them
as responsible members
of society...?
MOST IMPORTANT,
are we really expected
to VOTE
for them...????
November 2010
is coming...
Just remember who
these people are...
It may be
the only chance
you'll get...
What do you want?
More abomination and shame...?
More sliminess and clamminess...?
Unending tides and swamps
of the filthiest force
throughout the history
of the entire world...???
IT'S YOUR DECISION...
............................
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This friendly comment* has been
presented by Alex Gross
*It should be noted that the preceding piece does not contain a single obscene, vulgar, or "dirty" word. This parody has been based on the model of the intensive and well-financed decade-long campaign by FOX News and various rightwing PR groups to brand the term "liberal" as a dirty word. By comparison with that mammoth and sustained effort, what you have just read is remarkably mild.
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